I’m in one. Definitely. Let me start though by saying I wouldn’t trade this time in my life for anything. Know that everything that follows is meant to be kept in perspective. And as a reader, I’m assuming I know you pretty well and you know me pretty well so perspective will be easy for you to understand here. I was not meant to be a stay at home Mom. I don’t think I’m very good at it. I’m a good Mommy manager but a really crappy playmate. I think kids have really bad ADD… I can’t sit and play Barbie or Memory or Lego more than about ten minutes before I have twenty-five other things in my head that I need to be doing. It’s strange. I am doing some consultant work right now which gets my heart racing and reinforces what I’m missing about my life. (I’m working with a search company to build out a social media arm to their portfolio.) It’s such an active, evolving space right now that working with new people and in the ecommerce space (which is new territory) helps me see that working truly makes me happy. Contributing in a work environment, being passionate about technology -well, it just makes my juices flow. Working is just part of me.
In addition to the consulting gig, being a SAHM, and searching for a new full-time job, I have been building my photography portfolio and web site. I have had opportunities to shoot brides, families, children and pregnant women in the last few months. It’s been great and I truly feel my passion in this space. I most recently shot a dear friend who is 37 weeks pregnant and a breast cancer survivor. Sounds odd, but sharing time with her was inspiring. It makes me realize that I am blessed to have the life I have and have people like her in it. I found shooting her to be one of the most fulfilling shoots because she loves her life and it really resonated in the photos.
I can’t believe I’m not technically working, I’ve been busy. So busy. I want to find my next chapter, whatever it is. I want to love it and I want to feel the way I have felt before about managing my life. Managing motherhood, being a wife, having a career, taking photos, sharing time with friends, playing soccer and all that stuff. I liked when those things all had a home in my life. I am missing those homes.
So, I’ll continue to populate my twitter, facebook, linkedin, blog, website(s) in hopes of being able to bring it all together again. I will go back to writing about the kiddos and posting pics. I’m hoping my dots connect again soon. I think I am a better mother, wife, and friend when they do.