At work our fiscal year is already in 2012 so I feel like I have been living in it for a while. The passing of a calendar year after 40 makes me just feel that much older. Like… holy cow… I was born in the 60’s. As it is Reilly thinks that his Uncle’s car that is so fast is so amazing because it was built in the 1900’s (1999). It kinda means I’m ancient. I would have loved four kiddos but the years and the pregnancies just seemed like too much so the “kitchen closed” here in our family. My friend Wes, who is my photography spouse is convinced that I don’t actually want another child, I want another subject to photograph. And, although that is probably valid… okay, it’s true, I would love another subject I would also have loved four kids since that’s what I grew up with and I treasure all my siblings now. I feel blessed by them….
It’s not often a get a photo like this and thanks to one of my photog friends Lindsey I have this one. I adore all three kids for so many different reasons. I am frustrated every day by someone or something but I am more than thankful ten times a day for my life and all the good I have in it. I think I have gotten to a point where the things that mattered to me years ago just don’t anymore. I often ask myself “is this worth my energy?” and if the answer is “nope” I move on. It may still bug me at some level but I don’t get as caught up in it as I once did. I think the change is part of aging but also a knowledge that you can’t embrace until you have taken the good with the bad along the way.
I watch the kiddo’s get hurt by people and hurt people just as a bi-product of being a kid and I so badly want to say “totally doesn’t matter” as my heart tears for them. BUT, I know they have to learn the bumps in the road – it’s like a coming of age. I think you have so many of these in life and as I watch each of my kids have theirs I continue to have mine.
I am thankful for my family, my friends, my health and the health of my family and friends, and the people that are part of my life (or soon to be). I am fortunate to have a good job working with good people on top of all of it. I am excited to watch the kids grow in 2012 – continue on my awesome path with Shad and see what he and I can do in 2012 that makes a difference. So, as I say good bye to 2011 I am optimistic about 2012.
Happy New Year!