I could tell Reilly had a challenging day. He wasn’t his usual self… I wasn’t sure what it was about but I thought I would wait him out a little bit to see if he wanted to share. As I worked upstairs I could hear some of the conversation downstairs and Shad was “on” Reilly for not listening, not doing his homework, not picking up his stuff… etc. NOTE: It doesn’t help that Shad caught pink-eye from Shea and couldn’t be at work today as a result. He feels junky.
Reilly went to basketball and came home. He was still in a funk. I asked how it went and he just said “good”. He sat down to eat more of his dinner since it was so close to practice before. He again did a couple “dumb” things which got him into some trouble – that was it though- he put his face in his hands at the dinner table and began to sob. My heart hurt because he was hurting so bad. Ugh. I went over and talked softly to him and rubbed his back. He is the oldest. He puts a lot of pressure on himself and he is my “go-to guy” probably more than any nine year old should be. Ugh again. I can’t help but think he got pushed to this point at home.
After eating he headed up to bed and yet another thing didn’t go his way… again he started to sob. He looked at me and said with crocodile tears in his eyes “I am having a really bad day and all this is making it worse.” Soon after it came out that a couple of boys were mean to him at school. One in particular started calling him names and he told on him. For the rest of the day the boy told everyone he got in trouble “because of Reilly” which magnified how Reilly felt. Ugh again.
We talked together for a while, raced on his rubix puzzle game, and then just laid together. Sometimes I think we all just get too caught up in this crazy thing called life and forget to step back and remember what really matters. I probably need to put my computer down more often. I know I work at home but constantly working is no better than commuting to an office – as a matter of fact, in ways it’s worse because they see me “choose” my computer and my work over them. I say that loosely because they come home at 3:30 and I’m online till at least 6:00 each night and then again after they go to bed.
I need to step back and gain perspective… he is way more important than I must be showing him right now. He’s my BUD.