Kate has had such a difficult time sleeping the past few nights. She is consumed with death. I think she has seen and heard things, specifically people, dying. She is at the age where she is trying to understand death and it’s role in her life. That doesn’t sound like it makes much sense, but if you have watched a child make this (kind of) sad discovery then you know what I am referring to.
There was a big fire about 2 miles from the house earlier this week and one person died in the fire. The house was very familiar to both she and Reilly since they pass it everyday on the bus. I am fairly certain that this was the catalyst to her epiphany. She has sobbed the past two nights and has come downstairs to share- “I got butterflies in my tummy and I can’t stop thinking about dying”. Well, if that doesn’t break my heart… We talked a bit about it but in the end I think it was sheer exhaustion that put her to sleep – not my comforting thoughts and words. After the third night I thought I would drive by the barn with Kate and she could tell me about it and then we could chat about it. As we went by the barn she told me she thought that what happened was the people inside were banging two rocks together and started the fire. A movie approach- I thought – but I refrained from commenting. She continued to discuss the house then proceeded to tell me she thought it would be be better if the world wasn’t here and it was never made. We hit that one head-on about how we wouldn’t know each other – and she wouldn’t have all that she does ( friends, family, etc). I was happy that we spoke about it this way because tonight she is sleeping like a baby.