I’m almost 50

Shad, Me, and NYC
Shad, Me, and NYC
Well… I have got a half of decade to go. But, my body is feeling old, probably 60. The 40’s are interesting – it’s the time that you REALLY realize that you only get one vessel to take care of, to live your life in, and keep healthy. It’s been since I turned 45 that I started realizing my husband might be onto something with his crazy eating habits. I think they are soooo far out there, so over the top, so ridiculous and so expensive. He takes the attitude of pay now or pay later, it’s the right thing. I have recently starting accepting that his $11 jar of sauerkraut might have some really healthy attributes which are worth the 3 12-packs of Coke I could have bought. Or, maybe, the grass-fed beef actually does taste better than the regular stuff OR even that it’s probably a good idea to stop drinking so much Coke because like so many others my body is dependent on my sugar intake. You would think from a history of diabetes in my family I might have learned that one by now, but, it seriously took the last 25 years for me to look closely. I justified my Coca-Cola consumption by the fact that I don’t have any other vices. I don’t drink coffee. I rarely drink alcohol. I don’t have that other “thing” that I need, so Coke was it for me.
I have consumed less than a 12-pack since October. I had thought I would have shed the weight had I ever committed – unfortunately that was not a benefit. I do have to say, now that I have cut the cord, I feel a bit better and strangely aside from a headache for a day because of the caffeine withdrawal, it hasn’t been all bad.
I think when you are in your 40’s you realize a bit more that you are actually in control. You don’t have to like the things you are “supposed to like” or do the things you are “supposed to do”, you can just be who you are. You care a lot less about what people think and realize having your own opinion holds weight because it’s just that, your opinion.
From a courage perspective I like being a few years from 50, it’s empowering. From a I should have taken better care of my body perspective, I don’t like being a few years from 50 at all. Each day it’s another wrinkle or roll, and not the ones that you look at on your face and attach a story too or a smile too. It’s the more prominent side of aging flesh that you realize you can no longer shove in a shirt, or a bra, or even a pair of pants. I cringe at the thought that one day that might also say socks and shoes. God gives you this amazing blessing to work with, buy you sure can end up paying for your ignorance.
I try to share some of the important pieces with the kids. I let them know the fundamentals of just taking care of yourself, and Shad definitely is working on the nutrition side. He does an amazing job at keeping so much of today’s government funded corporate excuse for food out of our pantry and focuses on things that are more natural all the while educating them on why. I know it doesn’t always make sense when your peer group is not necessarily doing the same but hopefully it will make a difference for them. We both have confidence to share with them and ideas about how to be proud of who you are and what you do so it doesn’t take them 45 years to figure out what I am finally figuring out.
Enough of a night time rant, 45 is cool, and if I can walk 50 will probably be even cooler.


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